11102013 - News Article - Political crooks have become uninspired schleps

Political crooks have become uninspired schleps

Post-Tribune (IN)
Sunday, November 10, 2013 

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We come today bearing sad news about the state of public life in Lake County. 

Our political corruption stinks. 

Calm down. It’s not what you think. Political corruption here is not more felonious than before, because that would be clinically impossible. 

In fact, it’s quite the opposite. The county’s political corruption apparently does not inspire that rising gag instinct as insistently repugnant as it once did. 

We sort of miss it. It was our bedrock, our cultural touchstone. If anyone asked, we could reply that we were from Lake County. They would counter with “Oh, you mean you live in the crookedest county in Indiana?” 

We would bow with a genteel flourish, and accept our proper due. “Why, yes. Yes, we do.” 

It’s a comfort to know your roots. 

But while we were not paying attention, the truly inventive, corrosive political skunks of years past have either croaked of old age, or seen the light in federal prison. Maybe they’re living on the beach in Panama City off the last of their ill-gotten haul. 

Whom does the Democratic Party have left to uphold tradition? A sad roster of amateur pickpockets and low-rent pilferers, that’s who. 

How low and sickly have we slunk? Manny Montalvo was convicted last week of jimmying his tax bill. He was the executive public librarian in East Chicago. Federal prosecutors seemed so chagrined about the sad-sack case they let the chiseler stay at home for four months. That’s his actual sentence. 

The judge — Joe Van Bokkelen, who was once the region’s federal prosecutor — was stunned. Are you SURE that’s all you want? he asked prosecutors incredulously. 

But prosecutors had no heart for tormenting the pathetic, penitent librarian. Where’s the fun in that? When federal prosecutors feel sorry for a defendant, it’s usually because the bad guy is dying from a very ugly skin rash. 

A corrupt librarian, for crying out loud? 

East Chicago gave us Mayor Robert Pastrick, who stole at least $100 million over 30 years and once stole a mayoral election outright from another soon-to-be crooked mayor. He had to give it all back. But the little city managed by imperious crooks all the way back to Roosevelt — Teddy, that is — now offers up a Dewey Decimal System deadbeat for our criminal entertainment. 

Have we no pride, no dignity? 

Apparently not, because the recent perp walks of nondescript defendants were only marginally more stirring than Manny the Dirty Librarian. 

It’s been a long, depressing slide. 

Lake County Coroner Thomas Philpot drew 18 months for stealing $24,000 in child support collection bonuses while he was the county clerk. Piddling. 

County Surveyor George Van Til waits in the courtroom ante chamber. His accused filching is even less inspiring. Prosecutors say his office staff was dragooned into running his election in 2011, and that he hid computer evidence of that crime. Dreadfully dull. 

If it seems that every local official charged with a federal corruption crime is guilty, that’s because they almost always are. By almost, we mean gotcha with a “shooting-fish-in-the-barrel” frequency. 

In fact, there is no historical record of any local official ever being acquitted. Since 1975, there have been 62 felony convictions, mainly from East Chicago, Gary and Lake County government. 

For a few years in the middle ’90s, Lake County government did not suffer from crime as much as Lake County government WAS a crime. 

Oh, what heady, exciting times. Every day a new indictment with shouted denials. Every day platoons of FBI agents hauling boxes of incriminating documents from some public servant’s office. 

Many stole and conspired with a taunting hubris, but they invariably got caught. Some — like one-time County Auditor Peter Benjamin — were self-promoted financial rock stars. They had panache and good suits. True, they all were hideous toads in their souls, but their crimes were arrogant and roguish. 

We need competent criminals because they keep the law sharp and poised. If we must have crime, it a least it should be interesting crime. The most recent political crooks are just frumpy schleps. 

The hunters in the federal hoosegow industry apparently have cleared the Serengeti of all the big cats and left only socially dysfunctional meerkats. 

Oh well. At least we have some hope. We still have mega-church ministers.